Day 4: Anal Glands

Day 4: Anal Glands

We’re starting off today’s post with the word “anal” in it. Shocking! Incendiary!

In reality…it’s just a badge of honor for yours truly as the alpha to my little furry companion. He’s a Shih Tzu, certified ancient breed, genetically very close to a wolf, designed for companionship and feet-warming. And he does both those very well. His name is Cooper, and if you want more pictures of him than you could possibly ever want, you should really follow Liz’s Instagram…which is, truthfully, Cooper’s Instagram.

Anyway, if you know anything about Shih Tzu’s, or any dog for that matter, then you know that they have glands in their anus. And sometimes those glands get too full of their smelly contents, which is uncomfortable. Makes sense to me. That’s a sensitive area! Today, minding my own business, clacking away at the computer making money, I notice a fishy odor. Then, looking down at Cooper, I see *him* sniffing his OWN BUTT and looking at me like “dude…what the eff is that smell comin from my poo hole? Some shit is going down right now, and I’m not a fan.”

He was right. I knew he was right. He didn’t have to even say any actual words and I knew he was right.

So I did what any normal person would do? I went straight to youtube.

Boom. Two minutes later, Cooper and I were in the shower (not his favorite place to be, but dude, I found out that smelly stuff isn’t just gas and shit like farts are, nooooo no no…it’s liquid. Lots of liquid. And you do NOT want that shit anywhere you can’t clean it with a quick squirt and rub-down of soap and water). I’m not going into technical details, y’all can watch the video for yourselves if you want, but literally 60 seconds later, Coops was walking around like a new man. He even had a swishier swish than normal. “I feel…so FREE!” is what his swishy butt said to me.

Now don’t get me wrong, it was a smelly affair. Like, really intense. Like, I totally understand why dogs smell each other’s butt holes; they have waaayyyyy more going on back there than we do. And squeezing that smelly juice out and seeing it fly a couple feet was disgustingly impressive. But, all that aside, it was really easy. I washed my hands afterwards, Coops licked himself down, and within the hour, it was like it never happened.

And I feel proud. Not because it was complicated, or gross, or whatever, but because I was able to help my fuzz buddy out with something he couldn’t ever have done on his own. And it made him feel better.

So that’s my anal glands story. If you have a little guy of your own and you get that tell-tale whiff, roll your sleeves and man-up. It’s time to express some glands. 😛