Day 67: The "Day Off" Paradox

Day 67: The “Day Off” Paradox

If you’re anything like me, and I’d totally be interested to hear if this has never happened to you, I have the nasty habit of taking a day off, and then just feeling guilty, like I didn’t get enough done at the end of the day.

That happened today.

Which is really a bummer, because it all started off soooo nicely. Trip to the office to drop off rent, stop by the Play It Again Sports to pick up some cheap used balls, and then breakfast with Ryan and the Ho, and finally off to the Van Nuys golf course for some drive ranging and a round on their 9-hole executive course. I literally don’t think I’ve played that course in the time that I’ve been writing this blog, but I used to a lot over the summer. It was my go-to course, because it was still only 9 holes, but for three of them at least I got to bring out my driver and work on longer portions of my game. You don’t get that from a par-3.

It was glorious. Just, glorious. Weather was perfect, hit some great shots and played well for the most part. Ryan was excellent company, as per usual. It was just wonderful.

Then, came home and took a nap. I think after that is when it started to go down hill. I woke up suuuuuper dehydrated. That wintery, dry, allergy-ridden dehydration that gives you a headache. We took the Coops for a walk, and after that I really wanted to just take it easy for the rest of the evening, but I just didn’t for some reason. I’d thought about reading, or even napping, maybe doing some writing. But, I just kind of hung out, lost track of time, and all of the sudden the night was over and I was feeling tense. I still am.

This three week stretch has just been a lot, I guess. And I’m just feeling tired. It’s that paradox of taking time off to relax and recharge your batteries, but also wanting to cram my schedule full of “things to do.” The things that I wish I was doing instead of working. It can be frustrating for a “planner” like myself to balance, the resting and the do-this-do-that. It’s usually something that goes away if I take *enough* time off, and that’s really what I guess I was hoping to get this time around. But, this three-week stretch has been go-go-go. Which, don’t get me wrong, has truly been amazing. I mean, I so rarely get to see my family, or friends. It’s been awesome. The tiredness just smacked me a bit today.

What I don’t want is to hit Monday with work and just be on autopilot. I *do* have goals for how I want things to be different in these coming months. How I want to work in the writing and the working out. And I want to feel settled on my plan, confident. In the past, that really seems to happen when I’ve been able to clear out the noise and everything that’s actually important and essential all takes a step forward and focuses. Right now, my brain feels cluttered. Distracted. Enjoyable distractions, for sure, but still distracted. I want zen, goddamnit! 😛

I think that’s where I’ll leave it tonight. I’m glad I just went ahead and did the whiny blog tonight. I feel better 😛

Better stuff tomorrow, I promise. Not going to let this continue, or let me days get away from me too much. Tomorrow is simple: golf and football. And naps. I want some serious napping this weekend. It makes me feel energized come the work-day. And *that’s* what I want, guys. Energy. If I have that, I’m golden. The world will be my oyster. I just need to remember that. It puts a smile on my face.


Tonight’s art is called “Paradox”