Day 164: Grateful

Day 164: Grateful

Ohhhh man…tonight could so easily be a “le tired” entry bc this guy (imagine I’m pointing at myself) is freaking pooped.

I didn’t think just taking one day off instead of two would really make a difference, but man…that was incorrect. I almost threw in the towel today on doing a full work load, but I didn’t. I found the energy. Energy I currently no longer have 😛

But, no. No le tired…I feel very content at the moment, actually. Very happy. Grounded in my present, enjoying my reality. My fiance in the bathroom washing up, and my dog snuggled up in his kennel, waiting for his second nighttime treat. I always finish up in the bathroom first, and then I come to bed to write this thing, but before I do, I make a pit-stop to give the Coops a treat. But, he’s figured out now, that it’s only one of TWO treats, the other he gets when Liz is done and comes to bed, so he’s taken to just hanging out in his kennel till treat #2 comes.

I enjoy work.

It’s weird. I know. I suppose I could rephrase that slightly, but it’s essentially the same thing: I enjoy having DONE work. Ie- I like the feeling of accomplishment. And, I’ve been getting a lot done recently. Working hard. It is, truly, one of the best feelings. And tonight, I very much feel that. I can feel my world around me forming to my will; the things that I have control over *feel* under control. My health has been great. My focus has been (mostly) great.

Even with the writing, which hasn’t come together these last two days, and I’m saying right now won’t happen tomorrow either…even that feels under control. My script, for the first time, is 100% within my grasp. All the holes that need to be filled in now feel like they’re ready to be filled in by actually WRITING it.

So, tonight I feel grateful. Grateful to be working. Grateful to have a new Ralph’s down the street that I can walk to and get groceries in five minutes. Grateful to have Liz and Coops in my life. Grateful for my comfy bed, which I’ve pretty much decided I’m going to sleep in for longer than usual tomorrow morning given how freaking exhausted I am. Grateful to just feel exhausted from accomplishing so much. The weights are lifting from my shoulders, and that just feels good.

I’m grateful, too, for this blog. To check in with my thoughts on a daily basis, and keep me even-keeled. Or, at least honest. Which I have been on this thing, without fail. I’m grateful for that, too, given how easy and often it is that we put on a “public face” for the internet. Sure, there are things I don’t always put on here that are too personal, that kind of has to be a given. But, what IS on here, IS personal, and it is honest. It is me, and pretty much 100% of what’s on my mind when I sit down to write it.

Coops just jumped up onto the bed for sleepy times, and I think he’s got the right idea. Liz came in the from the bathroom and gave him his final treat, and now she’s lying on the floor with her feet up on the wall looking on her phone, which she often does before coming to bed. She always stays up so much later than I do, reading, or looking at internet stuff on her phone. Me, I’m usually ready for sleep, and I rarely stay awake longer than a half hour after writing one of these entries. Coops…well, he’s a dog, so he pretty much sleeps professionally.

Goodnight guys, hope you’re feeling like there a lot to be grateful for too 😉

Tonight’s art comes from the Trek BBS, old school forum-town for trek nerds…and some pretty damn inventive fan-art. This thread is about Trek books that never were, done in the style of 1950s – 1970s paperback books…you know, back in the day when people actually bought those…or more ACCURATELY, back in the days when kids (like me) would find these books in piles at the goodwill, a used bookstore, or a library, and read their musty pages at hours like the one right now.