I had completely forgot today was going to be day number 200. The bicentennial. The second century mark. Two thirds, give or take, of a year now gone by.
I was feeling the weight of 200 days today, that’s for sure.
Not productive at all. I was simply exhausted. There was a lot of extra stuff this week, for some reason, and it kinda wiped me out. I’m not super ecstatic about it, to be honest, I was really hoping I’d knock out a full work day today, but it wasn’t meant to be.
I knew it from the minute I woke up. I woke up tired. Dried out. Drained. And so, I did some apartment work, and then laid down for a brief nap that turned into a legitimate solid 3-hour nap. I was that tired.
But guys, it’s okay.
I know it’s just my body freaking out about all the changes that are happening. I’m getting close to finishing this pilot script. I had an audition for a decently major role. I started working out and got my ass kicked. That’s precisely what this is. I know it. I’ve been here before. And like before, I need a day (or two) to just breathe, calm down, and then go off running again.
I have a weekend now to make up the work, and I’ve decided that will happen Sunday. I *do* need to get a bit of work done tomorrow. Not a lot, but some. Or maybe, I just need to go into tomorrow and really treat it like a full planned day off. Maybe that’s what I need, so that I can do a full Sunday work day justice.
But really, that’s about all I need to do and I’m back on target. Continue with the “do less more often” philosophy for any make-up work.
It was also the day before Liz leaves for the weekend for her bachelorette party, so that definitely had something to do with it. Not wanting to be squirreled away in the office working. Instead I was passed out in the bedroom 😛 Not the best alternative, either, but I do know that I get depressed when she leaves town.
Man, I wish today had been more of the rockstar days that I’ve been having lately, on day 200. But, this is reality. I am adding more and more to my plate, and it does get overwhelming without perspective and a plan. Today lacked perspective. I was just tired. And I indulged that. It never makes me feel great afterwards, but it probably was necessary. I have no desire to completely burn out and get sick, or lose a week or two in one fell swoop, which has happened before. This blog knows that very well 😛
I also look like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer right now. Festive, I know! It’s a freaking zit, buried inside the very tippy tip of my nose, up in that crease that is impossible to freaking get to…and it’s grown. Big time. So much that it’s inflamed the OTHER side of my nose, the outside, and it’s all red. I tried to get the Ho to get up in there and pop it for me to relieve the pressure, and it seemed like we got it, but now it’s kind of throbbing in a “pressurized” kind of way, so I don’t think we did shit. I think, unfortunately, I just kind of have to wait this sucker out.
I mean, who gets a zit INSIDE their nose? Right? It’s ridiculous.
Coops right now has his head outside his crate, resting on his favorite toy. It’s kind of unbearably cute. I love that he decides that anything soft on the floor is put their for his comfort. And he uses pretty much anything.
I’ve just decided that I am taking the day off tomorrow, except for when the A’s play; which is when I will edit and listen to the game for as long as it goes. That sounds like a great plan. We’ll see how that goes…maybe that can be my plan to get some catch-up work in on days off for the rest of the month. Outside of that, I can do whatever I want those days.
Oh, and take Liz to pick up her rental car for the trip to Vegas tomorrow. That’s also on the agenda.
Music. There also needs to be music on the agenda for tomorrow. That always seems to center me back to where I need to be. Get me back on the ground, and not overwhelmed. Focused. Positive. Smelling the roses.
It’s that awareness of time, my purpose, and everything around me that is lost on days like these. That, I think, it was makes them frustrating. I’m lying in my bed, laying down for a much-needed rest, and not able to enjoy it because I’m thinking instead about where I “should be,” or what I “should be doing.” It’s not restful.
So, I’m going to lay out my plan for the next few days, and I’m going to stick to it. I want a day off tomorrow. So, I’m going to figure out how to get it.
And, you know what, that’s entirely what this blog is all about for me. Sitting down at the end of each day, and digesting my feelings about it. I didn’t feel good about today, because I hadn’t planned it to be this way. Which is going to happen, all the time. But, I can totally counteract that feeling by just sitting down and formulating a NEW plan. And, that’s what this entry reminded me of, just now.
Every day is day one. And, that’s actually a magical thing.
Success is right now. It’s not in the past, or in the future. It’s right now. And I’m going to grab it.
To the new plan! I will see you guys tomorrow, and cheers to anyone who’s muddled through any of this for even close to two days, let alone 200 😛 Someone else’s stream of consciousness is definitely not always easy to follow, but at least you know what I’m thinking.