I had 75% of a very productive day. Which is shy of 100%, and therefore a bit frustrating.
I don’t know guys, I still have these days of non-focus. They start okay, but when it gets to the home stretch, I don’t know, it’s like a quicksand dream. Where you just can’t seem to move as fast as you want and the monster is right behind you.
So yeah…I just need tomorrow to be a productive day. And the way to get that to happen is to get up on time and get started on time. I likely have some “easy” lessons coming through the pipeline tomorrow, so I can make up the couple of hours of work I lost tonight.
I also didn’t get my pages written today. It was 11, I still hadn’t finished my editing, and I still hadn’t eaten dinner. It was one of those days, guys.
But, I know the cure. And that’s to get back on my shit tomorrow. A minor failure. Something I wish I’ve been able to eradicate by now, but I continue to struggle with it. It’s just flat out laziness. That’s the most frustrating thing. It’s definitely a choice. I’m choosing to get distracted, and therefore get behind. And yet, I still do it.
I try to keep it in perspective, and point to the fact that I’ve been able to get everything done for these past few months. But, it’s still self-sabotage, right? I mean, that’s what I’m really doing. Putting something off because I can just work harder later to make it all up.
That is anti-doing-less-more-often. And, I’m sick of that. I like how I feel and how productive I am when I’m actually doing less more often.
So yeah. I wish to be sitting in my bed tomorrow night, ready for sleep, having done my work for the day in full, with the writing, and (hopefully) done on time in the evening so that I can sit down and enjoy a well-earned meal, and the day off that follows. That’s what I want tomorrow. Which means sleep right now.
ps – I watched a decent chunk of “The Manchurian Candidate” today, the 1962 one, not the remake in the early aughts. It’s surprisingly good. Indeed, a reminder about how much we’ve learned about how to make a suspenseful movie…but even so. There have been a couple scenes that I really really enjoyed, and a couple plot developments that took me by surprise, or that I just forgot about. So yeah…I love watching older movies that are “classics.” Or, even ones that aren’t. They never fail to teach about about storytelling, and how it’s changed and evolved. And, sometimes, what we’ve forgot.