Day 350: Middling

Day 350: Middling

Felt a bit better today, but I’ve been dealing with tummy aches. I know. Tragic, those tummy aches.

I was able to get some work done early in the day, then I kinda crashed. Hence the title to the blog today. It’s been a frustrating week, that’s for sure. I just don’t feel myself, and it’s obvious why. I’ve been fighting whatever this is, this flu or cold. I’m looking forward to it being gone.

I just feel like I’m floating along right now. I got my writing done, which I’ve been doing. Got some editing done, did some apartment work…I mean, things are happening, just not with any sort of focus. Even the days when I *do* get as much or almost as much work done as I’d scheduled, it STILL feels detached. It must mean I’m depressed right now.

Ya, I’ll fully admit that. I feel like I am. And, I don’t mean in any sort of dark way and I’m feeling like “what’s the point of it all?” No, I mean much more the physical approximation of that phrase, a more likely the clinical one as well…as in, “a lower period.” Things feel kind of low. Energy is low, mostly. Dim. I feel dim. Tired. Nothing is too energizing, either good or bad. Numb would be an overstatement, but there is a numb-ness.

See, guys, this shit happens from time to time. I’m pretty sure I’ve written about it on these blog pages. Usually, it lasts for a couple days and is brought on by some sort of failure on my part, or having a particularly draining success. In the old days, anyway. The slide up and down like a roller coaster. And…actually, thinking about it that way, I think this is all still fallout from the wedding. A post-wedding malaise.

I remain undaunted, however. I really do feel like rising up out of this depression may be just around the corner. I just need to keep trying. Right? Keep trying, keep moving forward. Keep writing about my feelings on this wonderful blog. Wonderful for my psyche, meaning, not an objective statement on whether or not this drivel is anything worth reading 😛

Tomorrow is a scheduled “off” day, and off it shall be of rigorous work. Writing will get done, and perhaps some closet organizing, or reading, or maybe even getting down to write the two book reviews that have been waiting now for four months…something along those lines. In fact, that’s what I will go do now. Think about what is going to make a satisfying, relaxing day…which for my personality type generally means checking items off a list. I know, I have problems.

That’s all for tonight, y’all. See you tomorrow.