Day 546: Work Angst

Day 546: Work Angst

Apparently, tonight’s artwork from Richard Hescox is actually production art from the movie The Philadelphia Experiment, which is rather amazing to me. So much detail for something that’s funtction is really only to suggest a visual for filming. Very cool.

Today was a productive day, man. I got a lot of stuff done. I was, nonetheless, distractable. It *could* have been a perfect day, but I ended a good 4 minutes shy of a full 20-minute goal.

I don’t sweat that as much as I used to, I swear. I’m completely confident that I will end this month 100% on goal, and not “behind” whatsoever. In fact, I’m very much expecting to have a kick ass day tomorrow, given that some “easy” lessons I have my eyes on are posted. We’ll see. I still have work on my plate as it is.

I did my writing today, a full hour of it. The only downside was that I didn’t *like* what I wrote. I know what that feeling means, now. Now, that I’ve been on the other side of writing a scene’s dialogue where everything came out as I actually wanted it to and made sense. I’ve done that now, and what happened today was not that. It means that I need to go back to my beating/outlining phase and rework the end of this scene. Connect the dots more clearly. So, as frustrating as that was, it also showed me that I *am* learning! Finally! 🙂

Felt good to write. I didn’t over the weekend, which I had wanted to, I just ran out of time. Which means I made it less of a priority than I *could* have…but still. I jumped on it today. Felt good.

I also got several things done on the apartment building front. There’s a whole legal issue I’m dealing with at the moment, and I checked in on that status, there was some maintenance stuff as well, and some emails that needed sending. There is one phone call I need to make tomorrow, but otherwise I’m in pretty good shape on the whole apartment building status.

I remain, however, angsty over this “figuring out my work schedule” thing. I have various plans swirling in my head, and it’s honestly hard for me to figure out what is going to be A) the most successful for me and the Ho saving money for our trip around the holidays and a cash-coushion, and B) that I’m actually going to *enjoy* the most. And, I really don’t want to discount B. I was very happy with my work life last year, and I haven’t found that same contentment yet this year. I’m still working out why exactly that is, or more precisely, what it is I should *do* about it. I’m feeling quite unfulfilled both on the editing side of things, and on the writing side of things. It means something needs to change, but I haven’t been able to put my finger on what exactly that change is.

I do have faith, however, that I will figure it out. I know that writing consistently is essential, and I’m starting to actually FEEL better about that. This outlining a scene beat-by-beat has been a breakthrough, as was just sending my material to people for feedback that I can act upon.

Anywho, part of the plan to defeat the malaise is snuggling into bed a little earlier tonight so I can read a bit before sleeping. I find that makes me feel…I don’t know, more content falling asleep, and waking up.

Anywho, that’s what’s running around this silly head of mine as I try to wind my way through my life. My sense of accomplishment and positivity seems to require constant vigilance, which is what this blog really is all about, to be honest.

Good night, and more musings tomorrow, as always!