Day 593: Coming clean

Day 593: Coming clean

Cool artwork tonight from Dean Ellis. Love that guy!

I’m sliding right now…I think this is 4 work days in a row where I’ve fallen ever so slightly shy of my daily work goals. It’s adding up, yo! I don’t like it!

Yes, there have been distractions that have taken me away from working, and yes, I’ve been struggling down the stretch lately, which is where I usually rally to make up any time I’m losing…it’s not a good combination, and I don’t like it. So, I’m putting it down in black and white tonight, and I need to figure out how to get my head right.

I know what it is…it’s this work schedule 😛 It’s brutal. It doesn’t seem like it, because it’s only ever two days in a row at a time…but it is taking its toll. The GOOD news is that even if I am falling shy of my goals, I’m still raking in more work than I’ve ever, ever done before. In anything. It’s a small consolation at the moment, because I *know* I can swing this schedule. I know I have more in my tank, I just need to reach down and get it.

Same thing with writing. Now, writing today suffered because we had some people from out of town over in the morning, and that took up my usual writing time (and some editing time…but then so did the nap I took for an hour after lunch…I’m so fucking lazy sometimes…). So, yeah, writing needs to stick with it. I’m not so hugely “behind” on my writing, but I need to have a strong couple hours tomorrow in order to not slip there, too. I’m supposed to start writing pages this coming week. Thursday, I think.

Really what I’m coming clean with, I guess, is frustration. And, I what is getting me distracted: it’s reading these posts from other writers, and then sitting in my chair thinking about the industry that’s out there, which brings up all these feelings of inspiration, doubt, restlessness, anxiety…it runs the gamit. The Feels, as the kids would say. And that sucks out focus from the day, particularly at night. Sometimes I’m better at tuning that stuff out than other times. These past couple weeks, I haven’t been particularly good at it.

But, hey, I guess that’s what all this is about, right? I have to learn what works for me, and what doesn’t…maybe the fix is just that I don’t look at Facebook until night time. Keep my head down and on my work till then. I also know that hitting a certain minutes mark before taking the pups out on their nighttime walk and then eating dinner is *crucial* to finishing the day strong, and I’ve been missing that pretty consistently for these past couple weeks.

Well…no more. Those are things I can change. I have control over that.

This week kind of flew by 😛 Despite the frustration coming out tonight giving the impression that all is doom and gloom…I actually feel the opposite over this week. Mostly because I actually put my nose back to the grindstone and started this new pilot. For reals. That’s a big deal. I also got a shit-ton done with the apartment building, which is a load off. Handling my shit in that regard is at constant odds with all my other work, so knocking down several items in that department is definitely a boon.

Next week is a new week, guys. Full of promise and opportunity. A clean slate. If I learn from my mistakes, or at least *remember* what I’ve learned over and over again sometimes…well, the world is my oyster. Even though I personally don’t like oysters. But, you know what I mean.

Our visitors today from out of town were a pair of fellow dog-lovers all the way from Canada, here to pick up a new addition to their family from an LA rescue they found online and really liked. We didn’t get to meet the new dog, but they had Carl with them, who’s also a shih tzu, and everybody got along like gangbusters. It was adorable and amazing.

Also, the A’s continue to make me want to throw them as a unit into the ocean and just start over with a new team. 1-0 loss to the Angels, the second night in a row we’ve lost by 1-run. I hate the Angels so much…

Good night errbody! Tomorrow, I must get up early, unfortunately. Our house is turning into a film set!