Day 607: Ready to rock

Day 607: Ready to rock

Cool cosmic landscape tonight from Chelsey Bonestell.

Ahhhhhhhhh. I feel rested. Today was productive on all the things I’d been ignoring whilst working my tush off…ie- apartment maintenance, laundry, some groceries…that kind of stuff. Tomorrow: work. Work for the next three days to finish off June in style.

I’m actually going to be finishing shy of my goals for the first time in, like, forever. Well…January, I guess. But yeah, that’s weird. Basically, I’m deciding I’m finishing short of my goals because I’m not going to try and make it up in July. I physically can’t. This work schedule has no room for error. Well…a *little* room for error here and there, a couple minutes or maybe a day…but nothing like what I’m facing. It’s okay. It hurts a bit to admit, but at the end of the day, it’s okay. I’ll still have accomplished more work than I ever have, AND, it’s a better plan to reach my goals for July. I can dig it.

Writing is going to be back in full swing as well, and I’m looking forward to that. I was lamenting a bit this afternoon, how far behind I feel, and how frustrating it is to say you want to do something, like write all these scripts, and then get discouraged by how long it actually takes to do so. It’s okay. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.

I actually got started on that thought train by watching the movie Big Eyes, in which this man literally will do anything to have people think that he’s an artist. Nothing is beneath him, and it consumes him (to his detriment). He’s an unscrupulous character, and certainly the villain of the story (in real life, too. A plagarist)…but I also found myself admiring how much he wanted to be considered an artist. It made me think about what I would do for *my* art…which since I’m struggling right now to make any, of course made me feel self concious. Self concious that I’m not devoting all or the majority of my time to writing, and instead working on other things and life continues to slip on by.

I temper that thought, however, with the mantra of “do less more often.” I wrote a fucking novel using that method, I can goddamn write some scripts with it, too. And get myself as an underling on a TV show. The idea of having all my time to just write write write and ignore all other aspects of my life is a fantasy. It’s unsustainable, at the very least, and a dangerous trap of unfulfilled dreaming at it’s greatest. I have to continue to do what I love, write, while all the rest of life is happening around me…because life will never stop.

I mean it folks, anyone out there who wants to do *anything* that’s not paying your bills: if you can do it in the course of your normal day in life, you will never ever get it done. Maybe when you retire, but not until then. Figure out how to do what you want to do RIGHT NOW, one tiny little step every day. That’s the golden ticket.

Now…I just have to take my own advice. Again. Remember where it’s taken me.

Time for bed. I wanted to be sleeping early tonight, but instead, I’m simply going to sleep on time. I can totally live with that 🙂