Well, today was *almost* the return to the routine that I was looking for. The “almost” is there because the day started later than I’d expected. But after that, man, I was able to have a relatively normal workday. Great success! Usually a slow start ruins the whole day for me. Well, not today Satan!

Just before coming to bed, I played Star Trek Online for the PS4 for a hot second…and it really was only a hot second, because the game proceeded to glitch out IN THE GODDAMN TUTORIAL. The *tutorial*!!!

I was supposed to go and fight these klingons (I know, sounds fun right? Well, keep reading…) and so I go down to this fucking deck where they are and my first objective is to unlock the armory and get myself a phaser rifle…which I go to do, except the instructions on how to actually equip that fucking rifle make no goddamn sense. They’re like, “press this button”…but it doesn’t say what fucking button it is, and the shape they show doesn’t match any fucking button *I* have on my wonderful little PS4 controller…

But at that point, I’m like, whatever, I have another phaser, I’ll just use that shit instead bc I know how to use it. Go back out into the corridor and my little mission objective thingy tells me I need to go kill some klingons. Or stun them. Whatever. So I’m out there looking around, hear the sound of weapons fire…but I can’t see anything. Just two fellow computer characters who are there to help me. No klingons. Then, one of the suddenly gets shot. I look around more. Still no klingons.

I figure maybe they’re down the hallway, so I move forward and get into a cut scene of a hull breach that sucks out a klingon who was running towards me. Back in player mode, a force field is up protecting me from the hull breach and I figure, hey, that klingon that was sucked out must have been the one that shot my friend back there. Note: my mission completion is still sitting at 0%. I haven’t killed any klingons yet.

From there, the level seems to work well; I go to the transporter room, shoot three klingons, save a fellow officer, move past that room into the corridor again, but on the other side of the hull breach, and shoot two more klingons. At this point, my mission completion is at 72%. Okay, there must be more klingons ahead. I go to the end of corridor…locked.

I must have missed an unlocked door somewhere behind me. Check all the doors: locked. I go back to the beginning of the level…still no more klingons. My little map up in the corner that’s supposed to point me where to go: nothing. What the fuck, right?

So, I look up a tutorial…turns out…THERE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING KLINGONS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME during that first moment when I came out with my new phaser rifle that I couldn’t fucking figure out how to equip. Two of them were supposed to be right there so I could shoot them and then move on.

Okay…no biggie, something happened, I need to restart the level. Can’t do it. It’s greyed out. The “I’m stuck” is greyed out. Not available.

I read more. People say to log out of the game, and log back in – should restart the level. It doesn’t.

When I log back in, that section of the level where the breach was is now wide open, walls are gone. I can walk through them right to the outside of the game. I fall. the “stars” that I’m supposed to see through windows and shit are these giant spheres. I’m below the corridor, looking up, walking on an invisible black something, totally where I’m never supposed to be. Completely glitched.

At this point, I’d spend 30 minutes trying to do the most incredible simply TUTORIAL and I was done. I am done, in fact, with the game. If the tutorial is that glitchy, holy shit it’s not worth playing that fucking game. That’s the very first level! And to think that there are poor souls that spend money on that game…I’m stunned that such a shitty product is ou there, and dismayed that my fellow Star Trek nerds are left with such inferior options to live in a Trek universe. What a waste.

Anywho…that’s the rant for this evening. I deleted the game off my console. Onto more fun, well-running pastures! 🙂