“Don’t be afraid to show yourself to be foolish.”

That’s a quote that I just read attributed to…huh, I thought I forgot so I just went to look at the twitter post, and it was unattributed. Which probably means it’s internet bullshit. But, you know what? I don’t care, actually, because I think it’s rather good advice.

Fear is what stops us, all of us, from doing what we want to do. It limits us. It’s a leftover from when we were simpler creatures, and while it certainly does serve a purpose, it doesn’t serve nearly the extensive purpose it used to, and therefor, it runs amok. The thing I’ve learned about fear is that once you shine a light on it, it loses all of its power. Internal fears, that is. If you shine a light on a giant scorpion (like I did in Fallout 4 today, with the Ho watching next to me), that shit is going to kill you. Let’s not get it twisted.

I’ve tried my best to share my fears on this blog, to shine a light on them so that they lose their power. It seems to me that, largely, that has worked. I am much, much less preoccupied with fear than I used to be. Although I’d never really characterize myself as a “fearful” person, per se, there were times in my life, particularly when I decided to start writing this journal, that my fears were paralyzing. They’d make my heart pound, and I have to shut down and take a time out or a nap…and that never helped.

There was a post today from someone in a writers group that I’m a part of, and they were talking about being at the end of their rope, broke, not able to find work, not able to find success writing, and not knowing what to do about it. I remember being in a very, very similar spot a few years back – I remember very, very distinctly. It was crushing, and I mean that word in the sense that the world was pressing down upon me with a constant force. The decision to write this blog every day and put those feeling into written words was part of turning that all around. I cannot understate how much this blog has helped me…it really changed my life, at least in part, and a significant part. The other parts would be my wife, my family, and my dogs…their support.

And, I suppose, that’s another lesson that I’ve learned as time has gone by: choose the people you surround yourself with great care. The support that they offer you defines a large part of who you are as a person. I have the best support when it comes to all that. I really, really do.

Today was a work day, and an exceptional one at that. I worked for a long, long time…and I’m pretty friggin exhausted…but I got done what I needed to get done. Liiiittlleeee tiny bit left over that will make tomorrow a bit longer of a work day than I’d like, but it’s okay, because then I’ll be all caught up. Hah-lay-loo. I was focused, on-task, and I finished with a couple hours to spend with the Ho – we went grocery shopping together, I did laundry, and I played a bit of the old Fallout. I set a timer this time, and I stuck to it. That felt good. Old Ira has to have boundaries, otherwise he gets stressed out. I guess I’m like a dog in that way…yes. I did just compare myself to a dog. And, yes, I know – shame on me. I’ll never be a good as a dog. None of us will. Unless you’re a doge.

That’s all for tonight, kids. I hope you had a nice weekend, and I hope you find the courage to show yourself in all your glory, foolishness and all…because behind all that is truth, and truth is the currency that makes everything in life happen. One the truth is out there, it can’t be denied.

Night 🙂