Day 1,379: Jury Doody

Day 1,379: Jury Doody

Sigh…I’m pretty sure I’m going to be a juror tomorrow, guys.

For the FIRST time in the history of Ira Heinichen, I’m going to day two of jury duty. Now…I can write that because nothing has actually happened yet. I have no idea what the case it, I haven’t actually been picked, and I won’t even tell you where it is that I’m potentially serving…I will just tell you that it sucks. I tried to get out of it today by telling the truth, that I’m self employed and that I won’t get any pay if I have to serve, but it didn’t matter.

On the flip: I had a good writing day today. I decided to step back from committing to someone I was considering contracting for their services, and I think I made the right decision there. I’ve since looked at some more possibilities and found some intriguing leads. Really, though, this was the takeaway…

I need to not get ahead of myself.

I realized today that was the source of a lot of my anxieties. Rather than focusing on where I was right now, in this very moment, I was thinking too much about things that were yet to come. And by that, I mean specifically things like income, advertising, email lists, boxed sets, pricing, reviews, scheduling, etc., etc., etc. What I have NOT been focusing on is the writing, the writing, the writing.

I’m not there yet for all that other stuff. I haven’t actually published my book yet. I can’t set a schedule if I don’t know yet how long it actually takes me to do stuff. So…I’m going to stop all that, at least as much as I can, and focus on the WRITING.

I do not have a daily routine yet. I do not have a system for churning out books yet. That’s all still fuzzy for me, and thinking so much about what’s to come AFTER I’ve figured those things out yet has been putting the cart before the horse (a terrible way to haul something, if you think about it) and it’s been building up a lot of anxiety for me. I thought that scheduling everything out and setting deadlines that I was financially committed to would help me get the work done that I needed to get done. Well, it didn’t. It paralyzed me.

Writing, for me, is a labor of love. It has to be. It’s the way I’m programmed, apparently. I have to enjoy what I’m doing.

When I was video editing, it was watching Star Trek, as I’ve mentioned. When I wrote the first Starstuff book, it was taking the time to really enjoy the characters and live in their world…and not stopping and turning back to fix things. I think I have to embrace a bit of both the video editing method and the starstuff method. Slow down. Get it right. Figure it out. THEN take off like a rocket and start setting some crazy-ass ambitious goals.

So, all of this is to say, you guys…that I feel better today. I sat down and wrote, and it wasn’t beautiful or brilliant, but it was GOOD ENOUGH. I was satisfied with it.

To bed early tonight so I can get up tomorrow and write before jury duty starts. Wish me luck.