Day 135: Defeat

Day 135: Defeat

I lost out to the craziness of the week. I haven’t written my requisite hour for the past two days…I haven’t made or found the time.

I’m also dreadfully, dreadfully behind on my editing work; a full week behind, if not more should I be unable to rally for the rest of this current week.

I suppose I shouldn’t be all too surprised. My mom’s surgery has been a major one, and I’ve been more stressed out about it than I’d readily admit. I learned that last night when I decided to not put my mouth-guard in before sleeping, just to see if my jaw would feel better or worse in the morning. I woke up with it 1000% worse. Mistake. But, now I know where the lingering pain is coming from. I’m grinding my teeth at night. More than I’ve ever grinded my teeth, actually. And that comes from stress.

Anyway, I did *finally* have a good work day today, so that was wonderful. And, my mom is definitely improving. It’s just stressful, seeing her so helpless, being up here instead of home, trying to keep my focus. And it caught up with me.

Trying not to be too hard on myself about it. This whole writing challenge is much more than a consecutive streak that I’m trying to accomplish. It’s a lifestyle change. Just like figuring out my editing routine. It’s not about the short term, it’s about the long term. So, I’m setting it aside for the next couple days. I more desperately need to catch up with work. As soon as I can turn in a full days’ worth of editing work, that’s the day that the writing resumes. It must be this way, for now.

To clarify, TOMORROW is the day that I will turn in a full work day, and TOMORROW is the day that I get back to my writing routine.

Just to be clear.

I will say this: I am getting much better at letting frustration go, and not letting it snowball. This month has been a challenge. I knew it would be that way. And sitting around and stewing about it will not help me get things back on track. This *is* the track this month, and much of these frustrations were/are unavoidable.

But today, we admit defeat.

It’s ironic, in a way. I had a fellow blogger have a similar experience. Not reading anything too into that, it’s just funny how things work out sometimes time-wise.

I’m off to sleep a little earlier tonight that the last couple days.

Course corrections. Little by little. Hoping tomorrow morning brings more productivity, health, and happiness. Good night y’all.