I had kind of an anxious day today…which happens sometimes on my days off. Not the kind of anxiety that’s coming from the outside because, you know, something went horribly wrong unexpectedly.
No, I mean the kind of anxiety that comes from the inside. That’s the kind of anxiety I get sometimes on my days off. And it’s usually when I feel like I haven’t “earned” a day off.
I wanted to get work done this week, and I got *some* of it done, but not nearly *all* of it…and that just stresses me the fuck out. This is something I’ve learned about myself. And when that stress comes, I just want to shut down. That’s my coping mechanism. And I feel like it’s a coping mechanism that I’ve only recently in the past…10 years?…fallen into.
I didn’t used to be like that. If something was stressing me out, I just sat down and did that shit. I don’t know exactly what changed or why, but it doesn’t matter. I am who I am right now, and if I want to be someone different, then work to change has to be put in. Well, that work starts tomorrow. I have to get back into the “habit” of writing. I’ve been away for too long, and I need to come back and never leave again.
A habit takes a month or so to form or break…so, shit, here we go: I’m going to write NEW WORDS every day for the next 30 days. Okay? Okay. I’m going to do my damndest to make it 3,000 words a day…but we’re just going to start right now with WORDS. Words. Must be written. Every day.
How many times do I have to learn this lesson? Several times, apparently.
Wish me luck.
I had a wonderful EVENING, however 🙂 Went out to see Tone’s stand up show at the Ice House in Pasadena (and yes, bear, that is exactly where we saw Jay Malone during when you were shooting your pilot with him), and then we drove together to Hollywood where the full cast was wrapping up a nice dinner together. We hung out for a bit afterwards and had an overall wonderful time. These…these are good days.